How I ended up here.

Childhood

I think it's important to at least set some context for the story below.

I grew up in a small town outside of Pittsburgh. My mom went to college (she was a teacher), but my dad was a tradesman and learned everything on the job (from his dad). My mom passed away when I Was 15, so by the time 17 rolled around and it was time to start thinking about college, my dad and I were a bit our of our depths. So, I did what any reasonable 17 year old would do: I copied my older brother!

College

I enrolled at the University of Pittsburgh in the College of Business Administration and started out as a finance major. Freshman year was pure hell (I had no study habits due to being a "get-straight-A's-without-doing-all-that-much" kid in highschool), and I just barely passed both semesters.

I came back sophomore year as an exercise science major (I was bodybuilding at the time) and lasted a whole 3 days into the semester before I realized it wasn't for me. I went back to my counselor and enrolled in a few accounting courses, and one other business pre-rec, and decided....well....to get my shit together. I learned how to learn, figured out what "knowing something" actually means, and got through the next 3 years with a 3.8 GPA.

That same year, I landed an internship with GNC in "merchandising". I had no idea what that was, but I had worked in GNC stores and committed to figuring the rest out. I ended up interning there for the rest of college, and eventually boomeranged after a few job hops post-grad.

I took a Visual Basic course my senior year and really enjoyed it, but I was about to graduate, so I didn't pursue it much further.

The theme so far is this: not much effort or thoughtfulness involved - mostly just "falling" into things. Privilege, luck, and some resourcefulness got me through.

The Journey

So here we are, circa 2017 - a good job at GNC, decent pay, easy work, but something's missing. I don't get much energy from my work. It's not very mentally engaging. I'm not connected to the mission (anymore - I definitely cared more about supplements when I was still bodybuilding). I knew I wanted to do something else, but didn't know what.

And so, I started looking.

I started getting into politics around this point, so I thought maybe a masters in public policy would be the move (I'm more jaded about policy now, but I still find it interesting). I talked to friends, and friends-of-friends, and gathered as much information as I could.

I started taking photos as well, and thought maybe I could do that full time. I even had a couple gigs (and still do occasionally), but I didn't have the energy, connections, or desire to make it full time. Once you make a hobby a career, you lose some of what really drew you to it in the first place.

I like design, so I [redacted] a copy of the Adobe Suite and started learning how to use it. I made a few things, but nothing really stuck. I was still working full time, and I didn't have the time or energy to really dive into it. I also briefly considered a degree in industrial design, but it seemed too harrowing and out-of-my-wheelhouse.

I considered the trades, too. I love working with my hands, and worked with my dad each summer since I was 13. But a life in the trades is hard, and I saw what it did to my dad's body.

I thought data science/analytics may have been the right fit. I took some online courses and enjoyed them, but didn't know quite where to go with it.

And all this searching wasn't without a cost - I lived my life pretty minimally and kept my overhead light. I saved as much as I could in the hopes that some day I'd find "my thing" and have the resources to pursue it. It was also mentally taxing - I was constantly thinking about what I wanted to do, and was burning out in my current role.

In 2019, I moved to Philadelphia and decided that it would be a fresh start. I prioritized looking for mission-driven work (while also still exploring a potential graduate degree), and eventually found it at MANNA as the operations manager. I oversaw a team of a dozen folks who were in charge of packing and delivering meals to our clients. That role filled my cup until it overflowed. I found myself on the "front lines" during the pandemic, and eventually realized that I was burnt out and couldn't keep doing what I was doing.

I explored lots of different things, but nothing seemed to be the right fit. I was still searching for something that would give me the energy and fulfillment I was looking for. Landing at MANNA showed me that mission-driven work was a must.

The Inflection Point

It wasn't until my role at Imperfect Foods that it really clicked for me - I love building stuff that helps people.

Through talking with a handful of software engineers in the org, I came to find out that they had all gone to bootcamps. Not only that, they all went to the same bootcamp - Turing. Suddenly, I had this pretty viable option in front of me - 7 months, several thousand dollars, and a job at the end of it. I was sold. I applied, got in, and started in November of 2022.

The days were long, but the months were short. I put in 70+ hours a week, soaked up as much as I could, and made some incredible friends. At times, I felt completely out of my depth, but when it "clicked", I could feel it. I finally felt like I found "my thing".

This felt like what I had been looking for. The perfect combination of all the things I loved about prior roles, with an accessible on-ramp to get there.

The Search

I graduated in June of 2023 and started the job search. For those not in tech, the market started to turn in late 2022/early 2023. There were mass layoffs, hiring freezes, and a general sense of uncertainty. Further, when there are layoffs, the market becomes saturated with talent. Trying to get a foot in the door with zero experience is hard enough, but when there are thousands of other people with years of experience looking for the same job, it becomes even harder.

The job search was truly exhausting - a full-time job in itself. I spent each day networking, having "coffee chats" with people I either found on LinkedIn or was introduced to through my network. While these conversations led to some promising opportunities and I'm grateful for everyone who took time to speak with me, none of them ultimately turned into jobs¹.

I applied to probably over 150 jobs during that 6 month period². At the start, those were strictly developer roles, but as time when on, I started applying to other roles as well - data analysis, product management, and even some non-tech roles in the fields I used to work in. I was seriously desperate, and my savings were running out.

Toward what would eventually become the end of my search, I received an email from my ex-colleague and now-boss, Nicole. My shitposting on LinkedIn had paid off - someone on staff saw that I had pivoted careers and told her about it. As it turns out, Nicole was hiring for MANNA's first dedicated internal IT role. At the time, I was in "all reasonable offers considered" mode, so I said yes to a call, and then eventually a second and third round interview.

I was nervous. I didn't really think this was what I wanted to do, but I didn't have many other options.

Some things did help push me toward a "yes", though:

• I had great rapport with Nicole and the team. They were all super nice and welcoming, and I felt like I could be myself around them.
• During one of my interviews, I laid out firm-but-fair reasoning on why I felt that X salary was reasonable given the circumstances, and they heard me out. It wasn't strictly about the money, but about being truly valued for what I was bringing to the table.
• I had a track record at MANNA. I had already established trust and could move quickly and have a big impact.
• I was already familiar with the mission and the work. I had been on the front lines, knew where things needed to be fixed, and loved the impact MANNA had.

About a week after my first interview, I said yes to the offer.

I wasn't sure if this was the right move, but I felt like I had to take it. I was running out of time and money.

Worth noting, things could have been a lot worse. MANNA is a great organization, and I was lucky to have a job that I loved. I was also lucky to have a hiring manager who I could trust and who was willing to stick their neck out for me. Although this wasn't my first choice at the time, I was still grateful to be in a position where I could make a difference.

After a grueling search, I finally landed a job. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I started down this path, but I was grateful nonetheless.

Ikigai

And so, I started at MANNA in October 2023 as the "IT Generalist".

The first ~week was weird. It was a place I knew but hadn't been in a while. There were lots of familiar faces, but also lots of new ones. I was in a new role, and it felt like I was starting over again. I couldn't quite place the feelings, but I was dedicated to making it work.

After the first month or so, I really found my stride. I was able to take the things I learned at Turing and apply them to my work. I was able to build out new IT infrastructure and make peoples jobs (and lives) easier. I was able to take the things I loved about my previous roles and combine them with the things I loved about technology. I was able to make a real impact on the organization.

Most importantly, however, I had found (at least for now) my Ikigai.

The concept of Ikigai is something I learned about during "The Journey" when I was looking for a framework to apply to my search. Ikigai is a Japanese concept that means "a reason for being". It is the intersection of four overlapping circles: what you love, what you are good at, what you can be paid for, and what the world needs. The intersection of all four circles is your Ikigai. It immediately clicked for me, and I started applying to every potential job or opportunity I was mulling over.

So what does that look like in practice? I love technology and working for an organization that makes a real difference in peoples lives. I am good at solving problems using technology and implementing solutions that help people. I can be paid for this work, and the world needs services like MANNA and people to support the work.

I have totally revamped the way our core departments (operations and nutrition) communicate and operate, moving from entirely manual processes and tools to a (mostly) automated system of tools that work together and ensure the flow of data from one place to the next.

I built apps and flows to automate our inventory process and get the right data in the right places.

I have built ad-hoc tooling and reporting to support various parts of the organization, saving countless hours and tons of energy.

I have learned about networking and IT infrastructure and continue to implement new solutions to help the organization run more smoothly.

I am working with a group of software engineers to build out a new web application that will help us better serve our clients and automate the way we intake clients (and I shipped some production code!).

I was promoted to "Senior Manager of Technology and Continuous Improvement", but I typically just go by "The IT Guy"

I am truly grateful. Every day I come to work, I get to learn something new. I get to work with insanely talented and driven folks who want to change our little slice of the world. I get the autonomy and trust to make decisions and implement solutions that I think will make a difference.

It's been almost a decade of looking for "my thing", but I finally feel like I've found it.

The reality of my privilege and luck is not lost on me - I have a great support system, come from a middle-class home, don't have a visible disability, am not visibly queer, and have a lot of resources at my disposal. I know that not everyone has the same opportunities, and I am extremely grateful for the ones I have.

The truth is, I love my job.

That feels rare to say out loud — and even rarer to write down. But I do. I love solving problems that matter. I love building things that make life easier for the people doing hard, human work. I love seeing technology used not to extract or exploit, but to care better.

I used to worry I’d never find work that felt right. That maybe I was too late, or too all-over-the-place, or just not the “tech” type. But it turns out I was doing all the right things, I just needed more time for it all to play out.

Now, every day, I get to build things that help people.

That's it. That’s the post.

Thanks for reading.

---

Footnotes